Obligation

You realize
you've forgotten how to keep secrets
not because of any mid-level joy at
unleashing the mystery of the ancients
or whatever worthless gossip is getting around
or having others look upon you as a someone,
with the indefinite article,
but rather
because you can know longer tell the difference
between what things everyone should know
and the things you shouldn't tell.
And this is probably more of the whole suitcase
full of unexplored troubles
left for when you have less time to dwell
(if I've taught you anything.)
And please don't point out that I'm
trying
too hard when I say things like
I'm sorry I had to watch you die,
but I still remember when you said things like
you don't understand why we only write in black in white:
it just seems to ingrain a lack of possibility.
But here
I want to tell you all of my secrets
and I realize
realized
that, on the one hand,
I have
on another
(wait)
that doesn't hold you apart from
anyone I've ever met.
Well, there I go again.